"I was forced, through seeing the error of their foundation, to abandon all belief in every religion which had been taught to man. But my religious feelings were immediately replaced by the spirit of universal charity - not for a sect, or a party, or for a county or a colour - but for the human race, and with a real and ardent desire to do good." 
- Robert Owen (1857)

I was thinking today about the two times I bared my testimony. Yep, two. Both times were at girl's camp, where everyone did it, so I wanted to feel included. I found myself getting emotional. Not because I felt "the spirit" or was "so happy to be born into the true church" but because I was in the wilderness, with some of my best friends, stargazing and not having a care in the world. I never pretended to know everything. 

I remember trying SO hard to feel this "spirit" so I could say some good things about the church and not just my friends, but I just couldn't. I think all I managed to blurt out was "..and I am thankful for the prophet" or something like that. Anyways, the point is, I was never one to bear my testimony. I was more focused on the fun times I was having with the people I love. That's always been my focus. Is that such a bad thing? That I think about my loved ones more than a possible deity or religion? So here it goes. I'm going to try this again..

I'd like to bear my testimony.
I don't believe the church is true.
I don't think I'm going to hell because of that.
As a matter of fact, I don't believe in hell.
I believe in life.
I am thankful for the stars.
I can't thank them enough for exploding billions of years ago, so that human life could even be possible.
Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.
I believe that we are in charge of our own destiny.
I am beyond grateful that I have a family who knows what love is.
True, unconditional love.
I am thankful for every little thing I've done in my life that has brought me to wonderful friends.
I believe that genuine friendships and relationships are one of the most important things. 
It's important to hold onto those.
I don't believe in organized religion.
I believe in moments and making the most of what you have.
I believe that despite my struggles, I am a very fortunate person.
I don't believe that I have the answers.
I don't think there's such a thing as "THE answer".
All I have are my own thoughts.
All you have are yours.
In the name of life,


  1. Adri, your are such a beautiful person! I love reading your blog because it reminds me of when I was struggling with the LDS church. Although we came to different outcomes as what is truth, I believe that there is truth in your words too. Just last night, I was wondering when you were going to write another blog and I got to wake up to this! Keep writing and searching and maybe one day we'll all have the answers!

    1. It made me tear up reading all the nice things you wrote about me.. You are so genuine and I am so happy to know you. :)

  2. I love your testimony! Very well said. It is mine too.

  3. The quote you use mentions a desire to do good. But if there is not god, there is no such thing as "good"

    1. You believe there can't be good people without god? So, if you didn't have god in your life, would you go around killing people?

    2. That is a logical fallacy. Morality can still exist in individuals and societies that do not believe in a God.

    3. to Anonymous, why is "God" a necessary condition for "good" ?

    4. especially when "good" is, most generally, a humanly defined value. E.g. humans have decided (perhaps arbitrarily, perhaps not) that Van Gogh's art is "good" I do not think there must be a God of Art in order for that to have happened. Why then must there be a deity for humans to have also decided that mutual cooperation is "good" ?

    5. Anonymous,
      Why write such things when arguing does nothing? She is stating her own opinion and even said in her writing that she doesn't have all the answers. No one does. I'm a faithful member of the LDS church and even we still don't have all the answers. We are taught to research and progress our knowledge here. We are told that it is ok to question and to not follow blindly. And because she came to a different conclusion than other people doesn't really mean that her view is wrong.

    6. Hi everyone, this is the anonymous who started the discussion.
      Adri - There is would be no such thing as good people if there was no god, there would merely be people. Of course you could have people who do "good" by societies standards, but without a god their actions wouldn't be good or evil in the grand scheme of things; because there isn't a grand scheme of things without god. To answer your question: No, I wouldn't go around killing people if I didn't believe in a god. But if I did, there would be nothing evil about it. Mean perhaps, but not evil. Why is killing someone evil or wrong to you?

      Anonymous #2 - Morality cannot exist in individuals and societies that do not believe in god. Actions aren't good or evil without a god, they merely...are. Without god everything is just a human definition of what is good or evil, just because something is good to you doesn't make it good to me. Also, you're using "good" out of the context it was used in the quote. Someone who is good at art and something "morally good" are two completely different things.

      Erica - I'm not claiming to have all the answers, I'm claiming to have the answer about the nonexistence of good and evil without god. Do you disagree? I'm not saying her views are wrong, I'm saying the quote doesn't make sense.

    7. Anon 1:

      I believe that morality can, and does exist in societies without religion. Do values we learn from religions shape the way we live? For some of us, yes. Being moral, however, is not being religious. It is being a decent human being. This debate will always exist in philosophy, though, so I guess we will have to disagree.

      --A secular humanist.

    8. I think it can. Adri is one of the most kind-hearted people I know and has no belief in God. She is always there for people, takes care of creatures, the earth, she is a beautiful human being. Just because God ceases to exist in hers and other people's lives, doesn't mean good doesn't continue. I've known people to grow up atheist and are amazing GOOD people. Because I believe in God, I believe he is an influence in my life, but through my belief I was taught, and I believe this, that we were given agency. We choose our actions, and I believe that still rings true for everyone. But to further explain why I wrote the previous post, you are arguing that there has to be a God because of your argument against "good". So I was just stating that trying to argue about this, won't do anything. And with that said I'm done with this discussion.

    9. Sadiez - How can morality exist without religion? What is good and bad if there is no god? What is decent? Everyone can have a differing opinion about what is decent and good in this world. But without a god, who is to say your "good" is more valuable than my "good?"

      Erica - But "good," in an eternal sense does cease to continue if there is no god. Who is to say her version of good really is good. You're judging her based on your opinions about what is good and bad. I agree with you that we all have the freedom to choose. But if god ceases to exist, good and evil go with him/her. All that is left are the individuals personal beliefs about good and evil which could vary drastically. I'm not arguing, I'm discussing, which is what comment sections are for I would assume. With discussion comes learning and the opportunity to see both sides of the topic. I'm not attacking her, I'm questioning her. I'm not trying to "do anything" but raise a valid concern.

    10. I've done a lot of research on the evolution of morality. It can totally and completely evolve. You see good deeds in animals too, right? Mammas will protect their babies. If another animal tries to take it, they know it's wrong. Elephants actually mourn over their dead loved ones.

      I believe that morals have been evolving since the beginning of man. They aren't something that were just thrown at us the second we enter life. Personally, I believe gods were made up by people in the early days who couldn't explain "weird things". Turns out the human brain is really smart though.. We can make ourselves feel anything we want to if we focus hard enough.

      You saying that you KNOW good and bad are not valid without a higher power is a fallacy though. The point I try to make is that nobody knows anything for certain, and it's dogmatic to say that you do.

      I know you disagre, but I still appreciate your comments. I enjoy discussion.

    11. Also, thank you Sadie and Erica for your lovely words :)

    12. But it's not wrong for an animal to take another animals baby, it's just a part of survival. I don't believe animal behavior has anything to do with morality. I acknowledge that there can be love without a god,which is what the animals you mentioned above are perhaps feeling to a certain degree; but I don't see how there can be right and wrong.

      Perhaps it is dogmatic of me to say I KNOW something, but I haven't found a convincing argument to prove/persuade me otherwise. There is no good and bad if there are no eternal consequences. Mostly people view something as good if it is socially acceptable, but what makes a good deed good? Who is to say what is good and what is bad? If something is good, shouldn't it be good for everyone? Differing opinions about what is good and evil contradict each other and good and bad become nothing more than personal opinion. If there is no god I don't see how good could possibly exist because it's undefinable.

    13. Anon - Jumping in, and maybe never coming back, haha.

      I don't believe it follows that if eternal consequences do not exist than there is no good or bad. Are "temporal" consequences so meaningless? I like it when a friend shares, I don't like it when a supposed friend steals from me something which I love. That is a simple foundation to start from: in life one experiences pleasure AND pain.

      If God exists ... well, are you Mormon? Because Mormon doctrine says good and evil is OUTSIDE of God. This means that God is an intermediary for us to understand good and evil. Which means, again, that before 'our' God existed good and evil still existed; e.g. there are actions which are inherently 'bad' given the circumstances. This is no different from if there is a scientific approach to morality to 'find' the best moral decisions in any circumstances.

      But if you are not Mormon then I can understand your paradigm regarding God = Good. The issue with this stance is that God "decides" what is good and bad, purely on whim. And is free to change 'His' mind (which many Christians will promote using OT/NT references - such as killing). This makes the idea of morality as whimsical as if humans simply decided what was right and wrong. No difference.

      My point with these two troubling statements:
      Julian Baggini wrote in "Atheism: A Brief Insight" (cheap and easy read, non-inflammatory) that the approach to morals and ethics is not an easy one, and both sides of the debate try to simplify the issue too far. There is no easy answer. I showed the issues with the Mormon view and common Christian view, and this doesn't remove any issues that the atheist may take. Both will have a level of unknowables, or even hypocrisy. This can be likened to diet: whether vegan or omnivore, any human who eats who cares about suffering any living thing experiences, is living in some sense of hypocrisy, just some more than others.

  4. Pretty sure your thoughts right there are almost exactly like mine when i came to that conclusion 6 years ago. I still stick by it all to this day. Bravo adri...bravo. I feel ya home slice.

    1. Thanks Britt, it was actually really cool growing up with you and Ashlee, cause I got to see inside the Catholic church a bit too. It's cool that we're on the same page. :)

  5. My sweet Adri, thank you for being able to put a lot of peoples' thoughts and feelings into words. I'm grateful for your friendship. You are an inspiration to me daily and one of the best people I know. Loves you dear!

    1. I love you to bits and pieces and I appreciate everything you do for me. You truly are a wonderful friend and i'm so thankful to have you in my life!

  6. Absolutely adore this post.... and this blog.... and everything about you. I honestly almost teared up reading this. Thank you for sharing. Can we please be friends? ;)

    1. Well aren't you just the sweetest. Thank you so much! I think a friendship is in order. :) Let's do more karaoke okay!?

  7. I hate digging up old conversations, but it's ironic that "anonymous #1" decided to comment anonymously instead of providing his/her name. If they truly believed in what they wrote, he/she would have had no problem with revealing their identify. I find it silly that someone who claims to believe in something so strongly, hides behind an alias.


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